Our little Gooli turns 6! As an Autism family, Gooli’s birthdays have morphed in meaning over the years. This year, I reflect on how we’ve re-gained joy and optimism. I also look back to acknowledge this wasn’t always our experience. Gooli’s first birthday was, uncomplicated. Balloons, a birthday cake, all of the typical hopes and dreams a parent has as their little peanut hits such an important milestone.

His second birthday was– internally, like a funeral. It was 3-months post diagnosis. We TRIED to have a “normal” birthday, but all I could see were his “deficits”. He had lost most of his language at this point, he wasn’t responding to his name, he had started severely restricting food choices and wouldn’t even try his cake… I felt so hopeless, devastated. I felt like I had lost my little boy!

The birthdays in-between are characterized by gradual change. His and ours. Earlier on, I would wake up on his birthday and have disappointment in my heart. He didn’t just “catch up”, it didn’t just “disappear”. So many of the stories I read and YouTube videos I watched back then showed “before and after”… and it felt like birthdays signified that we didn’t get to “after”.

Between birthdays, Gooli has gradually grown so much! He was fully potty trained by his 4th birthday (yay!), between 5 and 6- his language has just EXPLODED. From no words (at 2), to labeling items with words (3-4), to two-ish word sentences (5), to now expressing his needs and wants in 7ish word sentences! On his Birthday this year, I asked him- “Gooli, what do you want to do?”… he ANSWERED “I want Gooli throw orange basketball”. How amazing is that?! And this is how WE’VE gradually changed birthday after birthday. This year, I cancelled his 6 hours of ABA, I focused on making it the absolute best day for HIM…. It involved playing basketball knee deep in snow (see my last post), FOUR bubble baths, cooking, and watching his favorite Geico commercials…. his presents included a dollar store basketball hoop, so many balloons, bouncy balls, and a little plastic black dog. We’ve changed in that we celebrate all of his development, comparing him ONLY to HIM his previous birthday. We’ve also changed in that we no longer try to make him enjoy a “normal” birthday, or get him “normal” presents only to be disappointed that he isn’t at all into them. We join him and celebrate his birthday, his life, his AMAZINGNESS. We’re all much happier for it.